Where The Trekker Meets The Meaning Of The Trek

Strange territory Master… I’m in an uncomfortable place; a place where I do not have confidence, a place of shifting sand and unexplored (by me) turns. This is one moment that I said I dreamed of and yet, now that I’m here; the steps seem heavy and the lighting is… subdued—the path difficult to interpret and negotiate.

This is the time when I ask, “Do I really want to arrive at my desired goal, knowing what I now know about the risks and challenges—obstacles and… WORK… that needs to be done to get there?”

I’m at that point where many turn back saying, “no”, not understanding their fear, but certainly feeling and being swayed by it. They—and I—want so badly to say “Yes”, but that “thing”, that word called “commitment” hangs out there on a branch just beyond our reach over the cliff. To grasp the dream, we… I… must jump; the possibilities of flying on new wings, or falling to certain disaster, loom large.

This is the ultimate moment of submission Lord, exactly where You want to meet me—where the Trekker meets the meaning of the Trek.

I wax on like this because I’ve just gotten the approved cover copies for the book I wrote. Cover approval is the last phase of the preprinting process; now the book will be actually printed and then will be made available. None of this is a big deal, there are lots of books being printed and promoted out there. What is different is that the publishing, printing, and…even the writing of this book was never supposed to happen.

It did happen though. It started with another book that was supposed to happen… and didn’t. I wanted desperately to find a way to share my journals—the ones where I listen and respond to Your whispers—with a larger readership. After all, You blessed my writing on the internet, why shouldn’t there be a way to broadcast Your love for me (and by example for others) in paper format? Why not? Because You said “not yet”. I listened, I obeyed—a very strange behavior for me, Jehovah—and as trapped as it made me feel to let go of that desire, strangely I also felt incredibly liberated… no…free.

All of this spiritual exorcism happened even as some friends were encouraging the effort to print my journals. They said all the right things; they gave me all the right advice and pointed me on my way—but You said, “wrong way.”

The irony was that, during that same conversation with my friends, as I was explaining to them I didn’t hear Your inspiration for such a project, You were paving another road. Actually, a year prior to that You had begun to whisper into my writer’s heart, the essence of why RUTs are vital and significant components of a successful life quest. Still I held back, not sure if such a concept would ring in the public ear. It took just one small spark—back to that meeting with friends—when we were about to leave the restaurant.

One of my friends asked the loaded question, “Is there anything else, any idea you’ve been holding on to, that should be shared with an audience?” I remember so vividly shaking my head Jehovah, dismissing the words even as they left my mouth… “Well, I do have this idea about RUT’s—the routine of life we try to frantically escape from-actually being a good thing.” The response I got then, and the feedback received ongoing from others who have helped me shape and edit the idea since, was electric. I new then as I know now, RUT Management is not a simple “Mark Thing”. It’s part of “the gift”.

It’s taken far too many years for me to figure this out, but Your guidance is ever patient. I learned that this gift was to be focused on Your need, not Mark’s. I’ve discovered that if I continue to walk in the RUT You originally set out for me to follow, that… things—powerful, wonderful, undoable things—happen. A dyslectic, average and very ordinary boy who can’t spell worth a lick and with no history of strong communication skills… suddenly can write. He can even present a point in ways that win the hearts of others for God. I’m not—nor do I want to be—capable of such things on my own. I recognize the gift and praise The Giver.

But now it’s back to the present. I know I can write when the writing is for You. I know I can strike the reverberating chord when it’s Your song I play. I know because I’ve done it and done it well—beauty flowing from the former beast. Now the work needs to be spread. The book needs to be placed in the hands of others. The message needs… wants… to be spoken to Your audience.

How do I know this? Because You made it happen so easily… once again, after I handed over control, that is. I was so hesitant to self-publish because of that same nagging feeling in me that said, “You’re doing this for self promotion, Mark” and it was so far from the truth that I became frozen in guilt. You Adonai, would have none of it. Suddenly another writer points me to a publisher who specializes in new writers and they eagerly accept my first draft—after I had spent months seeking out such and group on my own with no success—would anyone not at least suspect Divine intervention?

Here’s the kicker: I’ve never walked this part of the RUT before; others have been out there doing it before me so it’s not Trailblazing, but it sure feels like it—a virgin path full of unknowns—I don’t even grasp who the audience You want me to speak to is! Some call this genre of book “Self Help”, but one of the major concepts of RUT Management is that I CAN’T HELP MYSELF WITHOUT HELP! So what do we call this category Lord, Self Helplessness? I don’t believe the bookstores will go for that.

I hear You Master, You’re saying that I’m over thinking this thing—can’t help it—that’s how You wired me. That’s how I prepare. Prepare for what? I’m about to give You back the fruit of the tree You gave me to plant and You’re already telling me to plant the seeds of the fruit… BUT I’VE NEVER PLANTED FRUIT SEEDS BEFORE. I WAS IN CHARGE OF ONE MEASLY TREE!

Overwhelmed? Yes, You might say I’m feeling that. I want so desperately… not to screw this up. And because I’m involved, that likelihood is high… unless: Unless I do what I’ve learned works. I’m giving all of it to You Lord. I’ll do what ever You ask, whatever You command; even if it seems foolish and odd to others. I’ll pray, I’ll ask for all action, all results in Your name, I’ll wait for Your voice and when heard, I will charge. I’ll do it without hesitation, and without the blink of an eye. Will I fear my involvement? Oh, yes. Will I fear Your involvement? Not a chance; there’s still a lot of the struggling “me” left to deny, but I want nothing more than to be Yours with complete abandon. Help me, so that others can see what that Trek looks like and what it means to love God as He loves me. Maybe, just maybe they’ll learn how to be loved as well.

And so the book will soon become reality. And Mark will stand up and speak out, and people will see. Will they buy? Will it be a message worthy or a fad too quickly waning? Neither. It will be what You Father, want it to be. It will be Your prose for Your purpose. I’m not in this RUT for fame or fortune because You didn’t create this RUT for fame or fortune. And I guess that not only places me right where this Trekker meets the meaning of the Trek, but also dead-center where I meet the very Maker of the Trek.

Good to meet You here Lord, I’m ready. RUT ON!